A guide & field tools
Leave the house
without the dread.New dog, first weeks.
Leaving them alone starts here.New dog, first weeks.
Leaving them alone starts here.Week two with a new dog.
Then the door closes.Day 3 home.
47 seconds alone.A note on the door.
A plan before the next one.Training takes time.
The cover plan fills the gap.Heard from the parking lot.
A plan for the howling.Not another gadget.
A plan.69 pages, a log and a plan.
See every part before you buy.The research, read for you.
One plan for the panic.
A 6-week plan for a dog who panics alone.New rescue dog? A section covers the first weeks.New rescue dog? A section covers the first weeks.New rescue dog? A section covers the first weeks.New rescue dog? A section covers the first weeks.A weekly cover plan for workdays, while the training runs.A weekly cover plan for your workdays.A chew toy distracts, a camera watches. Neither says what to practise tomorrow.629 research titles searched, 28 read in full, every source listed.
- Practise absences shorter than your dog can handle
- See the progress a bad day hides
- Know what to do after a setback
30-day money-back guarantee. Not helpful? Email us, full refund.
- Download link on the next screen and by email
- Six weeks of practice; some dogs need longer
Built on AAHA, AVSAB, ASPCA and RSPCA guidance.
“The most useful part for me was knowing what to practise that day instead of trying another random tip.”
Day 1
The goal
What friends of the founder wrote
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“I was planning my whole day around not leaving.”
“I keep the printed quick-start page by the front door.”
Adam B
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“I nearly didn’t buy it because it’s a PDF.”
“I’ve used the log much more than I expected.”
Eva C
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“Taking the rubbish out was a big deal for us.”
“The first time I took the rubbish out and came back to find him still lying on his bed, I nearly cried.”
Robert H
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“Useful when more than one person is helping.”
“The cover plan is now on our fridge, so we can see who’s covering each day and where we still need help.”
Sonia B
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“A bad session didn’t turn into another abandoned plan.”
“I went back to the setback section instead of searching for a different method that night.”
Marek H
Read the full reviews
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“I was planning my whole day around not leaving.”
I’d started turning down little things – a coffee, picking something up from a friend – because leaving meant watching the camera and feeling awful. The most useful part for me was knowing what to practise that day instead of trying another random tip. I keep the printed quick-start page by the front door. Having a routine to follow has made the whole thing feel less overwhelming.
Adam B
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“I nearly didn’t buy it because it’s a PDF.”
Honestly, $47 for a PDF made me hesitate. I already had a folder of screenshots and saved posts about separation anxiety. What I didn’t have was a clear idea of what to do on Monday morning. I’ve used the log much more than I expected. My old notes were basically “good today” or “bad today,” which weren’t much help when deciding what to try next.
Eva C
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“Taking the rubbish out was a big deal for us.”
The first time I took the rubbish out and came back to find him still lying on his bed, I nearly cried. It was only a short trip downstairs, but before that he’d be at the door as soon as I picked up my keys. We’re nowhere near leaving him for a whole evening. For now, being able to do one ordinary thing without him getting upset feels like a big deal.
Robert H
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“Useful when more than one person is helping.”
My partner and I work different shifts, and my mum helps with the dog twice a week. The cover plan is now on our fridge, so we can see who’s covering each day and where we still need help. We still have to arrange the actual dog sitting, obviously. But we’re no longer trying to sort everything out in three separate text conversations at seven in the morning.
Sonia B
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“A bad session didn’t turn into another abandoned plan.”
We had a rough session and my immediate reaction was, “Well, this isn’t working either.” Looking back through the log, I could see that the previous few sessions had actually gone better. I’d completely forgotten that. I went back to the setback section instead of searching for a different method that night. That’s probably what I’ve found most useful: knowing what to do when it doesn’t go smoothly.
Marek H
What you get
- Know what to practise today. A 69-page guide with a one-page quick start.
- See progress a bad day hides. A daily log that suggests your next step.
- Cover the long days. A weekly cover plan, one of 9 tools.
- Keep going after a setback. A page on what to do next.
- Five files. Guide, log as PDF and spreadsheet, worksheets in two sizes.
Online courses on separation anxiety cost US$149–US$199. This self-guided plan is US$17, not a consultation.
Look inside
The guide & field tools
Home Alone,
Step by Step.
US$17 one payment
Get the plan – US$31 Get the plan – US$17First behaviourist visit: US$605 (Tufts), CA$179–350 (Canada).
- Download link on the next screen and by email
- One payment, no subscription
- Secure checkout by Shopify
If the guide doesn't help, email us within 30 days of purchase and we refund you in full. No forms, no log required. This is on top of your rights under consumer law. In the EU, buying means you ask for the download straight away and accept that the 14-day right of withdrawal ends then.
The five files, and what opens them
- home-alone-step-by-step.pdf – the guide, 69 pages. Any PDF reader.
- home-alone-log.xlsx – the daily log as a spreadsheet, in .xlsx. Excel, Numbers or Google Sheets.
- home-alone-log.pdf – the same log, ready to print. Any PDF reader.
- home-alone-tools-letter.pdf – worksheets Tool 1 to 8, US Letter. Any PDF reader.
- home-alone-tools-a4.pdf – the same worksheets, A4.
Not on the order confirmation page, or does not open? Check the spam folder or reply to your order email.
How the guide works
The method is desensitisation, taken from veterinary behaviour guidelines.[6]
- Find where your dog is today. The guide shows how to measure it.
- Practise at home most days. Short absences stay below the point where the panic starts.
- Log every absence. How long you were gone, when the first sign came, how it went.[7]
29 studies and expert sources cited in the guide
150 owner posts on what went wrong
53 claims, each one you can check
Sound familiar? The signs
What happens once the door closes:
These signs often point to a separation problem. But boredom, fear of being shut in and illness can look the same.[3] Chapter 1 helps you tell them apart, and says when to see your vet first.
Why the usual fixes fall short
Owners on public forums:
“He howls like he is being ripped in half.”
“I feel like I am completely house bound.”
Calm time alone
- Day 1 4 min 30 sec
- Day 9 a bad day
- Day 18 28 min
Questions
Why pay when free advice exists?
Free advice says what works: very gradual absences. This guide gives the how, day by day: where to start, a log that suggests the next step, and a cover plan.
My dog panics within seconds.
The plan starts below that point, however short it is. Distressed even with people home? See your vet first.
We already tried a trainer.
The log suggests each next step at home, between sessions.
I have to work.
The cover plan (Tool 4) sets who covers which day. It doesn't make a full workday alone safe.
What if my dog gets worse?
One bad day is a setback, not a restart. Tool 8 covers what to do next.
More questions
How much time does it take?
A short session most days, for weeks, with a timer and a way to watch your dog.
We have a new rescue dog or a puppy.
The guide has a section for those first weeks.
My dog won't eat when I'm out.
The plan doesn't need food. Not eating or drinking when alone? See a vet first.
Am I charged in USD?
Yes. Your bank converts it at its own rate.
My dog is on medication. Is this still for us?
Medication is meant to work alongside behaviour work, not replace it.[11] The guide recommends no medicine or dose.
Who wrote this?
home, softly is run by AREION QUANTUM, s.r.o., a small company in Prague, Czechia. We're not trainers. Each claim names its source; AAHA, AVSAB, ASPCA and RSPCA have not reviewed this guide. Questions go to hello@homesoftly.com, and a person reads every email.
What if it doesn't help?
If the guide doesn't help, email us within 30 days of purchase and we refund you in full. No forms, no log required. This is on top of your rights under consumer law.
When this isn't for you
This guide does not diagnose, and it does not replace a veterinarian. See your vet before you start if your dog:
- soils the house when alone, since a medical problem can look the same[3]
- started this suddenly or late in life
- has hurt itself or tried to break out
- stops eating or drinking when alone
- is distressed even when people are home
- shows aggression
No progress after four weeks of steady practice? See your vet or a qualified behaviour professional. Some dogs need prescription medication alongside training, and only your vet can decide that.[11] That list is our own cut-off, not a clinical criterion.
“That’s probably what I’ve found most useful: knowing what to do when it doesn’t go smoothly.”
Home Alone,
Step by Step.
US$17 one payment
Get the plan – US$17- Download link on the next screen and by email
- One payment, no subscription
- Secure checkout by Shopify
If the guide doesn't help, email us within 30 days of purchase and we refund you in full. No forms, no log required. This is on top of your rights under consumer law. In the EU, buying means you ask for the download straight away and accept that the 14-day right of withdrawal ends then.
What it asks of you
Plan on a short session most days, for weeks. Only nine of the 150 posts gave a time at all, and those owners described one week to four months, never days.[8] A 2024 systematic review found separation problems harder to shift than other dog behaviour problems.[9] No guide can promise you a date; this one doesn't.
Until your dog copes, experts suggest covering long absences with a sitter, a walker, daycare, family, or by taking the dog to work.[10] The cover plan (Tool 4) sets who covers each day.
Evidence notes
Show the notes and sources
Each research claim leads to its source.
- 11 notes below
- 3 of them at level 1 of 4, guideline or systematic review
- 2 of them at level 3 of 4, single study
- 2 of them at level 4 of 4, expert advice
- 4 of them marked owner experience, not a study
One entry per numbered claim on this page: the claim, how strong the source is, the exact quote and where in the source it sits. Level 1 is a guideline or a systematic review, level 4 is expert advice, and owner experience from forums is marked as such and never counted as evidence that something works.
How the 150 forum posts were read and counted
One of the notes below counts owner posts instead of quoting a study. This is the method behind that number.
The searches were written down before the first one ran. All eight went out to
Reddit and Lemmy on 15 September 2026: subreddit:Separation_Anxiety alone time,
subreddit:Separation_Anxiety work, subreddit:DogTraining left alone,
subreddit:puppy101 when I leave, subreddit:dogs separation anxiety,
dog can't be left alone while I work,
"separation anxiety" desensitization dog and
dog barks when I leave the house. Run the same eight and you land on the same
forums.
The reading order was settled by machine, not by taste. Those searches returned 494 posts about a dog who cannot be left alone. Sorting them by a hash of the post id fixes the order before anyone reads a word. Working down that list: 211 posts read, 61 set aside as off topic (storms and fireworks, vet visits, reactivity to other dogs), 150 coded. Nothing was skipped, and nothing was pulled forward for being quotable.
Duplicates are counted twice, on purpose. Five pairs among the 150 are one text posted in two subreddits, so the 150 rows carry 145 distinct texts. Merging them would mean deciding by hand which two posts share an author, and that is a judgement the counts are better off without. It is also why every number here says "of the 150 posts" and never "of the owners".
A field is filled in only where the post says it. Each post was coded for the situation, what the owner had tried, what had not helped, what they paid for and how long improvement took, one value per field, with the order of precedence written down first. How long improvement took is blank in 141 of them.
1 In one study, after two calm trials in a row the dog moved up a step, and after any problem behaviour it dropped back to the last step it managed.
Source 1 (2020) https://doi.org/10.3390/ani10071110
“After two successful trials (i.e., no PB exhibited), we increased the criteria as prescribed (Table 5). For the DRO schedule, the length of time the dog had to not engage in PB to access reinforcement increased by 5 s intervals up to 15 s, at which point the criteria increased by 15 s intervals up to 60 s, after which the intervals increased by 30 s.”
Location: 3.1.2 Trials and Criteria, Subsequent Trials; Table 5 (criteria schedule up to 210 s)
“If a dog exhibited PB in a trial, we dropped to the last successful criteria.”
Location: 3.1.2 Trials and Criteria, Subsequent Trials
Source 2 (2014) https://doi.org/10.2147/vmrr.s60424
“During this program of behavior modification, owners should avoid long absences, and if behavior worsens, they should reduce the length of their absences again until the dog’s behavior improves, before resuming the gradual increase in the length of the absences.”
Location: Treatment of separation-related problems
Source 3: ASPCA https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/common-dog-behavior-issues/separation-anxiety
“If you detect stress, you should back up and shorten the length of your departures to a point where your dog can relax again.”
Section: Step Two: Graduated Departures/Absences
2 In the 150 owner posts we coded, a crate was the most common thing owners had tried (69) and the most common thing they said had not helped (39).
Our coded sample of 150 owner posts from public forums (Reddit, September 2026). Counts only.
3 A veterinary behaviourist writing for AVSAB notes that other problems can look like separation anxiety: boredom can cause destruction when a dog is home alone, fear of being shut in is told apart by filming the dog outside the crate, and medical causes should be ruled out by a vet.
Source 4: AVSAB https://avsab.org/separation-anxiety-the-great-imitator-part-1-2/
“Boredom or play/exploratory behavior is another cause of destruction when home alone.”
Section: Separation Anxiety: The Great Imitator, Part 1 – Boredom
Source 5: AVSAB https://avsab.org/separation-anxiety-the-great-imitator-part-1-2-copy/
“The first step in differentiating confinement anxiety from separation anxiety is to videotape your dog home alone OUTSIDE of the crate, loose or confined to part of the house.”
Section: Separation Anxiety: The Great Imitator, Part 2 – Confinement anxiety
Source 6: AVSAB https://avsab.org/separation-anxiety-the-great-imitator-part-1-2-copy-copy/
“First, all medical causes (e.g., intestinal parasites, urinary tract infections, etc) need be ruled out by visiting your veterinarian.”
Section: Separation Anxiety: The Great Imitator, Part 3 – Urination
4 In the 150 owner posts we coded, food toys such as a Kong were the second most common thing owners had tried (45), and 24 of those posts said they had not helped.
Our coded sample of 150 owner posts from public forums (Reddit, September 2026). Counts only.
5 In the 150 owner posts we coded, 28 mentioned using a camera to watch the dog while the owner was out.
Our coded sample of 150 owner posts from public forums (Reddit, September 2026). Counts only.
6 Veterinary behaviour guidelines define desensitisation as presenting a trigger below the level that sets off the reaction, then raising it gradually.
Source 7 (2015) https://doi.org/10.5326/JAAHA-MS-6527
“Desensitization: the process by which a stimulus associated with an undesirable behavior is presented to the individual at a level below that which elicits the response followed by a gradual increase in the stimulus level.”
Location: section Changing Behaviors
Independent check: our copy of the quote differs from the source in spacing only. The guideline does not name separation problems.
7 The log's main number, the time from leaving to the first sign of distress, is the measure one study used for each dog.
Source 1 (2020) https://doi.org/10.3390/ani10071110
“For all dogs, the first instance of PB occurred within 2 min (mean latency to first PB 27.1 s).”
Location: 2.3 Results and Discussion (Baseline); Table 3
8 Owners who said how long improvement took described anything from one week to four months, never days, and some described a setback after a single panic or a week with a sitter.
Our coded sample of 150 owner posts from public forums (Reddit, September 2026). Counts only.
9 A 2024 systematic review found that training based on counterconditioning mostly helped with dog behaviour problems, but separation problems were more resistant to change than the others.
Source 8 (2024) https://doi.org/10.1016/j.applanim.2024.106305
“The majority of the studies resulted in positive outcomes, particularly when addressing undesirable kennel behaviours and aggressive behaviours towards other dogs or household visitors. However, separation-related behaviours were found to be more resistant to change.”
Location: Abstract, p. 1
Independent check: our copy of the quote differs from the source in spacing only; the wording is the same.
10 During training, experts suggest covering longer absences with a dog sitter, a dog walker, daycare, friends or family, by taking the dog to work, or by taking time off.
Source 3: ASPCA https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/common-dog-behavior-issues/separation-anxiety
“If possible, take your dog to work with you.”
Section: A Necessary Component of Separation Anxiety Treatment
“Take your dog to a sitter's house or to a doggy daycare.”
Section: A Necessary Component of Separation Anxiety Treatment
Source 9: Dogs Trust https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/dog-advice/understanding-your-dog/separation-anxiety-in-dogs
“Seek the help of friends, family, dog sitters and daycares if you can.”
Section: Quick wins for easing anxiety
Source 10: Debra Horwitz & Gary Landsberg https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/separation-anxiety-in-dogs
“During initial retraining it may be best to hire a dog sitter, take your dog to work, find a friend to care for your dog for the day, board her for the day, or arrange to take some time off from work during retraining.”
Section: When I need to leave, what can I do immediately to prevent damage?
Source 11: RSPCA https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/dogs/behaviour/separationrelatedbehaviour
“Using a dog sitter or dog walking service means that someone can keep your dog company and take them for a walk.”
Section: Get a dog sitter
11 Medication is meant to be one part of a treatment plan alongside behaviour work, not a replacement for it.
Source 7 (2015) https://doi.org/10.5326/JAAHA-MS-6527
“Medications should be used only as part of an integrated treatment program.”
Location: section Pharmacological Intervention
Source 2 (2014) https://doi.org/10.2147/vmrr.s60424
“While pharmacological interventions may be useful when used in conjunction with behavior modification, they are unlikely to eliminate a dog’s separation-related problem behaviors in isolation,39 and some behavioral therapy will still be needed.”
Location: Medications
Source 3: ASPCA https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/common-dog-behavior-issues/separation-anxiety
“However, most dogs need a combination of medication and behavior modification.”
Section: Medications Might Help
Source 12: Sarah Heath https://reconcilefordogs.com/calm-programme/
“Medication is only one part of the approach and must be used in conjunction with a behavioural modification programme.”
Section: M | MODIFY UNDERLYING EMOTIONAL HEALTH WHERE NECESSARY
Independent check: the review cites earlier work for this; the guideline and practice sources say it first-hand.
Sources
12 works, every one of them quoted above.
- Using Owner Return as a Reinforcer to Operantly Treat Separation-Related Problem Behavior in Dogs (2020). Read in full. https://doi.org/10.3390/ani10071110
- Canine separation anxiety: strategies for treatment and management (2014). Read in full. https://doi.org/10.2147/vmrr.s60424
- ASPCA, advice page (read September 2026). https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/common-dog-behavior-issues/separation-anxiety
- AVSAB, advice page (read September 2026). https://avsab.org/separation-anxiety-the-great-imitator-part-1-2/
- AVSAB, advice page (read September 2026). https://avsab.org/separation-anxiety-the-great-imitator-part-1-2-copy/
- AVSAB, advice page (read September 2026). https://avsab.org/separation-anxiety-the-great-imitator-part-1-2-copy-copy/
- 2015 AAHA Canine and Feline Behavior Management Guidelines (2015). Read in full. https://doi.org/10.5326/JAAHA-MS-6527
- Counterconditioning-based interventions for companion dog behavioural modification: A systematic review (2024). Read in full. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.applanim.2024.106305
- Dogs Trust, advice page (read September 2026). https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/dog-advice/understanding-your-dog/separation-anxiety-in-dogs
- Debra Horwitz & Gary Landsberg, article (read September 2026). https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/separation-anxiety-in-dogs
- RSPCA, advice page (read September 2026). https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/dogs/behaviour/separationrelatedbehaviour
- Sarah Heath, article (read September 2026). https://reconcilefordogs.com/calm-programme/